At peace

I have been overwhelmed recently by how happy I am.  The past year and a half have been especially difficult for a number of reasons, but recently I have been consistently filled with joy.  Life still has its ups and downs, but of late the little things are enough to make me happy and keep me that way.  And even more than that, I feel peace.  There is a scripture that teaches that when we are right before God, we will feel confidence and peace, and that is precisely how I feel.

None of my roommates were home this morning, and for the first time in weeks I had some time to be calm.  I put on some soft Sunday music and caught of on some practical things that needed doing, then took some time to really delve into scripture study.  Stake conference was wonderful, and today had just enough of good friends and simple surprises to keep me feeling full without being busy.

I feel that I am really starting to develop a working definition of faith.  It has been rough for me, at times, as I am not one who receives distinct and specific promptings in answer to prayer.  But for me, faith usually means putting my good foot forward in the direct I think is best, and have the patience to understand that if it doesn't work, it is because Father has something better planned for me.  I have seen this play out over and over this semester: I got rejected by several internships before getting an amazing job, I auditioned fruitlessly for several shows before being offered an assistant director position, and I struggled with my roommates for months before meeting an amazing friend who I will be living with next semester.  Right now, faith for me means staying strong in adversity and continuing to struggle through life without losing hope.  I feel so blessed that I don't have to be constantly worrying about how my life will turn out.  Instead, I can know with absolute certainty that if I am doing my best, it will all work out.

And that gives me hope.  Which, right now, is synonymous with peace.