I have to admit, this week it's been hard to focus on the positive. After a weekend of over a dozen hours of listening to Moby Dick, I faced a week of 3 papers to write, 2 midterms to take, and an entire class of papers to grade. That, coupled with the fact that I'm flying home on Friday to spend the weekend in a whirlwind of wedding and family events- and thus no weekend time to catch up on school and work.
And when I get overwhelmed, the most important things drop out and I can't seem to do anything but find (and create) negative thoughts. It's a terrible cycle.
So this morning, in the midst of a head full of negative thoughts and attitudes, I decided I'd better at least make an effort to "act, and not be acted upon" [See
2 Nephi 2:26]. On my way to class, I pulled out my phone and started reading where I'd left off in the Gospel of Mark. I wasn't reading with the best intent, but I was at least making an effort.
When I arrived at class, I soon found out that class was cancelled. Initially, I was upset at my professor for not informing us ahead of time, but then checked myself and realized I was very grateful for the opportunity to spend that extra hour writing my paper. So I packed up my bag and headed home.
On the walk home, I passed a lot of people. One young man had a wonderful, sincere smile on his face. I gave him a funny sort of look, to which he continued to return a smile. Finally I smiled in return, and his face softened a bit, as if to say, "I know you're feeling down, so I want to show you some kindness". It was such a little thing, but it softened my heart.
A few minutes later, my dear friend Hannah called me to say hi for just a few minutes. She reminded me that I am loved, cared for, and thought about. It was a lovely surprise and blessing.
And so, with all of these reminders and blessings, I want to conclude with a greater determination to notice the small and simple goodness in our lives every day. Because, as Elder Carl B. Cook reminded us last October, "
It's better to look up".
Today, I am grateful for:
-Brisk fall weather that leaves the trees an array of brilliant colors and the sky full of clouds
-Cancelled class that gives me more time to count my blessings and finish my homework
-Sweet roommates with cool ideas and gentle, kind words
-A call from Hannah to remind me that I am remembered
-The opportunity to go home and share important events with friends and family
-The technology that allows me to do research, both secular and spiritual, from virtually anywhere
-Music to calm my spirit and my nerves
-A gospel perspective that provides hope, truth, and light even (and especially) in the darkest of times
