My Mountains: A lesson in patience and peace

I love California, I really do.  I love the pine trees, the gorgeous lanes, and rolling hills, and the Sierra Nevada mountains.  I love the weather, the sunshine, the flowers, and the gentle breezes.  And, especially now, I love time to spend with my family and friends- especially those with whom I get very little time.

And yet, I feel that a part of myself has been left in Provo.  I find myself searching the eastern horizon for the magnificent mountains that set my soul on fire and fill me with a sense of warmth and protection.  After years of secretly harboring a grudge against Utah, I've realized that I've come to love my mountains.

A few weeks ago I went for a jaunt up Rock Canyon, just past the temple.  I needed a bit of a climb on my own, and a challenging one at that.  I wasn't quite prepared for the adventures that awaited me, but it was a magnificent climb.  I managed to scale a ravine that shot up between two peaks, probably the result of a rockslide.  As took on the mountain, a tad voraciously, I started to notice that the way I had chosen was a bit precarious.  It was raining, so the rocks were slippery, and with every two steps I took forward, I slid one step backward.  I soon realized that in order to reach the top, I couldn't stop every few steps to rest or look back- I had to keep moving forward.  A few hundred feet from the top, my legs started to become fatigued.  A short rest on a solid piece of rock and a silent prayer later, I finished my ascent.

Once on the top of the mountain, I didn't have much time for reflection.  A bitter cold wind cut along the plateau, and it had begun to hail.  I took a few moments to assess my surroundings, and finally came to terms with the fact that I wouldn't be able to descend the way I had come.  Ultimately I found another trail down, and I half ran, half slid along the side of the mountain.  I got quite dirty, and my ipod graciously supplied me with enough EFY music to calm my increasingly panicking nerves- but I finally reached level ground.  I have experienced few more relieving moments.

Reflecting on the experience later, I realized what a good metaphor that hike is for my life.  I tend to want to look back every few steps and assess my progress, instead of pushing forward in faith for a time.  Then, when trials arise, often panic is my gut reaction instead of peace.  Both of these are aspects of my life I've been working on of late, and I very much appreciated the blessing of connecting the physical and spiritual through a very real example.

In the weeks since that adventure, I've learned the value of patience and peace.  Introspection and quiet moments are important- vital even, but are best when scattered throughout the practice of life.  An appropriate balance of careful self-analysis and faithful action- built upon a foundation of peace and hope based on truth- have lead me to a life of purposeful action and increased meaning.

I love living.  In part because this world is glorious, but in greater part because life provides me with the opportunities to grow and learn and change and become.  There is really nothing I hate more than the feeling of stagnation- so developing a greater understanding of the specific balance I need in order to maintain optimal progression is really quite a wonderful feeling.  Somewhat like the way I feel when I see the various stages of blooms on a growing vine of Joseph's coat roses.

Joseph's Coat  Roses: a bud and a bloom

My Mountains

The "rockslide" Trail

Yes, sometimes they look like Mordor.  Or Ireland.

I got dirty...

Faith in Practical Empathy

Liminal space expands
Between compassion and despair
Engulfing all who venture close:
The hopeful, who will dare
To bring their joy to those who mourn;
Yet, finding grief a sin
They languish over ignorance
And irony sets in.

For peace can often masquerade
As unconcerned assurance;
A gentle balm that soothes the soul
And strengthens ones endurance.
Contrasting those perceived assumptions
A calm there is to find
In knowing what will lie ahead
And leaving past behind.

For though the mandate rests here still
To mourn with those who weep
The faithful know: while weeping lasts
There are yet those who sleep
Soundly still in tidy cots
Amidst the raging tempest
Who understand, as in times past
That clothes aren't always rent, lest
The promises of deity be trampled underfoot-
For the peace commanded from the decks must in our souls take root.

Unleashing the Dormant Spirit

A few years ago, I was introduced to this clip, Advice from Elder Busche.  It's been a constant favorite of mine, and something that brings me great strength and peace.

Until a few days ago, I had never actually looked up the talk that this came from.  Turns out it was from a BYU Devotional in 1996, Unleashing the Dormant Spirit.  I've been studying it over the past week, and wanted to share some of the thoughts I've learned.

First, "nothing really matters unless we take the Holy Spirit as our guide and avoid being deceived. "  This is, or ought to be, a guiding principle in our lives: unless we can discern between the Holy Ghost and Satan (Good and Evil), we really have no solid foundation for our actions.

So how do we make this judgement?  Elder Busche recommends that we apply Luke 14:33. (Whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple.)  In his own words, Elder Busche suggests that if we can reply according to the following, we know we are following the Holy Spirit: "Yes.  I am a disciple of Christ.  I'm willing to sacrifice my own will, my habits, attitudes, and selfish desires, and endure the hurt and pain that such reflections cause, and bring to him as a sacrifice a broken heart and meek spirit."

Once we have figured out how to discern the Spirit, Elder Busche reminds us of the importance of being under its influence.  "None of us has enough wisdom, enough intelligence, enough knowledge, enough skills, or enough courage, by ourselves, to master our lives and even to succeed in life unless we learn what it means to surrender ourselves into the arms of the Lord and be filled with the Spirit.  He wants to empower us with the gifts that he has promised to give to each of his disciples who has made sacred covenants with him."

One of the beautiful aspects of the Spirit is that is changes not only what we do, but how we do it.  "...under the influence of the Spirit we act in wisdom.  We see the complexity of a problem in its simple parts, and we see the possible solutions unfolding in front of our eyes- to our own surprise. ...Our creativity is developed and multiplied.  That which is a burden without it becomes a privilege when we are under the influence of the Holy Ghost."

A bit later on in the devotional, Elder Busche makes a connection between the Holy Spirit and humility that was especially striking to me.  He explains that, essentially, sin is any time that we are not acting under the complete influence of the Spirit- which is something that happens every day!  So, when we recognize our potential, our responsibility, as disciples of Christ to be under the constant guidance of the Spirit, and then recognize that we cannot possibly attain that on our own, we are able to cultivate humility: a recognition of our weaknesses and a beautiful and bright hope in the redeeming power of grace. As he says, "Seeing ourselves in our full responsibility means also seeing ourselves in our weakness, in our lost opportunities, in our failures- which makes us humble and meek.  We see the necessity to enter into a covenant with the author of life, to activate the atoning blood of Christ to wash us clean, and to embrace, gratefully, the gracious gifts of the Holy Ghost for our essential empowerment."

After we recognize the deep need we have for the influence of the Spirit in our lives, Elder Busche discusses why we don't always have it's companionship.  Ultimately, it comes down to one thing: desire.  "All of our life's actions are the result of our desires."  We must desire- more than anything, more than life itself -to be under the complete influence of the Spirit.  Elder Busche counsels that we must organize and categorize our desires in our prayers in order for the Spirit to take us seriously.  

I love his words near the end: "When the Light of Christ is able to penetrate our hearts, prompted by the enlightened testimony of truth by a focused teacher, it will cause in us an awakening, an awakening of the real me, the child of God, so that we can learn to channel our desires to focus on our true needs."

Our true needs.  Our innermost desires to return to and become like our Heavenly Father, and to feel of his constant peace and love.  When I am closest to my Heavenly Father, this is what I desire more than anything.  I don't always feel it as strongly as I would like, but I relish in the moments that I do.

It reminds me of when the Savior came to visit the Nephites.  The account tells that the people prayed for what they "most desired"- that the Holy Ghost should be given to them.  

Our physical wants and needs often get in the way of this- as does our laziness, apathy, and pride.  But when it comes down to it, I sincerely hope that I can be humble enough, aware enough of who I truly am, to counsel with my Heavenly Father, heed his Holy Spirit, and rejoice in the glory of the Atonement that allows me to become so much more perfect than I could ever be on my own.  

John 14:27

Before Christ left his disciples, he promised them the Gift of the Holy Ghost, a spirit that would reside with them to teach, comfort, and communicate in behalf of Jesus Christ.

After speaking of this gift, Christ tells them: Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.  Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

Today we are blessed with this same gift.  All of us are able to feel the promptings of the Spirit, and those who have been baptized and received the gift of the Holy Ghost are promised constant companionship (so long as our side of the bargain is upheld).  We can feel the peace left to us by the Savior.  Our hearts need not be troubled or afraid, because we place our trust in the one who knows us better than any other- because he has felt our sorrows and borne the burden of our sins.  And he, who knows better than anyone the weight of the world, promises us that it's going to be okay- we can be at peace.

I choose to believe that.

The secret to healing, to peace, is to calm your mind so that you can listen to the things that matter most.

:-)

"You've been calm since I picked you up."

Best compliment of the day.