On Being a Girl

Recently I've realized something: there is a difference in the way I view myself and the way I think others view me. I KNOW that I am spiritual, kind, intelligent, beautiful, powerful, and amazing.  I know that I have endured well, learned a lot, and have a vivaciousness for life that I cherish.  I have come a long way, and I am proud of the person I am becoming.  But sometimes when I'm around others, especially men, I let that slip away.  For some reason, I focus on physicality, "sexiness" (whatever that means), and those things for attention.  Because here's the thing: it's easier.  It's faster.  Physicality can garner attention in an instant, but it leaves just as quickly.  Respect, on the other hand, comes when others see your true self.  It takes time to build, and it takes a lot to destroy.  So why not just focus on what really matters?

This is easier said than done, obviously.  But I think what makes it hardest is when others are pulled into the same trap we are.  I've been listening to Pandora quite a bit lately, and for some reason the ONLY advertisement that my station plays is for breast enhancement surgery.  I'm someone that has always been 100% against physical alterations for the sake of being pretty- I don't like wearing much makeup, I think working out and diets for the sake of weight and not health are absolute lunacy, and expensive and invasive procedures for the sole sake of altering natural appearances usually make me gag.  But after a few hours of hearing this commercial over and over, I started to wonder.  Will my husband expect that?  Am I not the right size? etc.  So what did I do?  Being the slightly strange person I am, I wrote Pandora an email, kindly letting them know my concern about the type of advertisements on their stations and the message it was sending to women and girls.  Because here's the thing:  most of the physical things we worry about and want to change about ourselves wouldn't even cross our minds unless someone else was doing them.  And it has to start somewhere.

A friend recommended this blog post to me today, and I agree with every single world.  Take a read, it really does define what is most important for our children to know.

I echo her sentiment: 

I hope enough brave girls band together, support one another and reject the world's counterfeit definition of beauty.

Role Models

We have a lot of unrealistic role models in our world.  Ads, movies, even the people around us can lead us to set unrealistic expectations and focus on the things that don't really matter that much.  I'm sick of bad role models, ones who teach us to be materialistic and picture perfect at all costs.  So instead, I'd like to share a video about a girl who I think could be a better role model.

Most of my close friends/family have heard me rant about how sad I am that Nellie got kicked off of The Glee Project (go ahead, laugh at my obsession), but I think this video can give you a pretty good idea why.  She wasn't all about looks, she wasn't fake, and I believe she had the potentially to be a really good example for girls about forming your own definitions of attraction, etc. based on things that are more important.

Happy Eyes

In the past month or so I've been frustrated by the idea of beauty and physical attraction.  I'm commandeering a blog post from a friend here, but it sort of changed by life today.  So here's her answer:

"Sometimes, when I look at my accomplishments, like a skinned elbow from a mountain trail, I feel pretty pathetic compared to beauty like [the Beauty and Belief] exhibits.  But when I think about it, the most beautiful thing about people, is when they are happy.  And whether that legacy is a bloody elbow or a beautiful stitching, people were happy--and happy eyes are the most beautiful thing. Happy eyes are the reason we make beautiful things- and as long as we are making eyes happy (ours or someone else's), we are making beauty."

Happy eyes ARE the reason we make beautiful things.  And the glorious part of this is that beauty is subjective- gloriously so.  Because of this, everything is beautiful to someone.  Everyone and everything has a place, and the diversity of expression and desire is what makes our world so rich with beautiful difference.