One step

There comes a moment in every decision where I suddenly realize what I have to do.  I realize that the black and white way of looking at things, the assumption that it's all or nothing, is WRONG.  It's this moment that I never anticipate, and that I never think I'll find- but I always do.  There is a way, and there is a plan.  And most of the time, we don't figure it out on our own.  But when we learn how to ask the right questions, as the right time, for the right reasons, the answers come.  Step by step, piece by blessed piece.

Tonight (or this morning), I'm grateful for one more piece.

Blessed

Lately I've had a boatload of opportunities to show the people around me that I love them, and to know that they need me.  Sometimes I complain about it, because sometimes it's hard to be everyone's rock.  But when it really comes down to it, I'm grateful for opportunities to know that I matter to others.  Because this is what love is about--this is what LIFE is about!  This is family.  And family is joy.

An interesting view on same-sex marriage

Came across this article from my dear friend Jessie recently, and I agree with a lot of it.  It's an interesting use of ethos- the author used to be on one side of the issue, and is now arguing against her own arguments.  The main point of the article that I agree with is captured in this paragraph:

I initially approached the marriage question from a fundamentally incorrect starting position — implicitly adopting the argument that marriage exists for the benefit of adults, for their fulfillment and enjoyment.  This is a fundamentally selfish view of marriage (I’m getting married to fulfill me).  Instead, marriage is the fundamental building block of the family, the cultural cornerstone of a society, and it exists primarily for the benefit not of adults but of children.

And I believe she's right.  Marriage isn't for the parents, it's for the children.  Selfishness has no place in marriage, and we as a society have done seemingly everything possible in the past few decades to counteract that.  


This isn't just about same-sex marriage, it's about all marriages.  It's about the problems that have arisen from no-fault divorce laws and similar functions that, while originally designed to protect abused parties, have descended into a downward spiral of selfishness that we not only practice but teach through word and example to the rising generation.


Read the whole article here: http://blog.speakupmovement.org/university/uncategorized/i-was-wrong-about-marriage/

Vulnerability

Now that I'm out of school for the first time since August, I've been doing some cleaning out and catching up.  One of the things I came across that I wanted to document was my notes from Brene Brown's talk on The Power of Vulnerability.  Here are some of my favorite quotes and concepts:


First off, connection is why we're here-it gives purpose and meaning to our lives.

And it follows: it takes courage to be imperfect.

We must have have the courage to have compassion with ourselves first, and then with others, because as it turns out we can't practice compassion with other people unless we can treat ourselves kindly.

Here's a huge, mind-blowing, and completely true asserting: Connection is the result of authenticity.

If we fully embrace vulnerability, what makes us vulnerable makes us beautiful.

How to be vulnerable:
Have the willingness to say I love you first, do something when there are no assurances, and invest in a relationship that may or may not work out.

You cannot selectively numb! [...but really]

Love with our whole hearts, even though there's no guarantee.

We need to practice gratitude and joy, especially in those moments of terror when we're wondering 'can I love you this much?', 'can I believe in this this passionately?', 'can I be this fierce about this?', to just stop and instead of catastrophizing what might happen say: I'm just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I'm alive.

Believe that we're enough. When we stop screaming and we start listening, we are able to be kinder and gentler to ourselves and others.

Ideas

In cleaning out my email today I found this quote, and it explains well why I believe ideas are so powerful:

“Ideas, both when they are right and when they are wrong, are more powerful than is commonly understood. Indeed, the world is ruled by little else .... I am sure that the power of vested interests is vastly exaggerated compared with the gradual encroachment of ideas."

John Maynard Keynes

james joyce-ing it up

I've tried not to do this recently, but I'm on my computer and I can type a gabagillion times faster than I could ever write.

Everything is going to explode.  There's nothing new, nothing that's hard again--in fact things are just starting to get easier in a lot of ways.  But all the hard that has been happening lately, all the stuff that I've said is just fine and that I'm strong enough to handle...well, I'm NOT.  And shoving it down into the bottom of the ice cream cone doesn't help anyone, it just makes it harder to get to the chocolate candy at the bottom.  [stupid metaphor, I know.  it doesn't even make sense].  It's just...well, I don't know how to be anyone except the girl that gets things done.  I don't know how to believe that God could love me even if all I did was sit around all day.  But even more importantly, I don't know how to believe that balance is possible.  I feel like a break means I spend the rest of the day being worthless, or that productivity means that I can't take even one break.  It's all or nothing.  Either I stay and be perfect or I run far, far away.  All the studies say you're more productive when you take breaks, but I'm not.  I get distracted and then feel worthless and then can't do what it was I was supposed to be doing in the first place.  So I don't take breaks, I push through until I can't take it anymore and then I break.  I fall apart.  I get so strung up that all I can do is sob.  And then I'm at square one again, rejuvenated enough to move on and get some more stuff done, but never really learning how to be happy and rested.

I know I'll figure this out eventually.  It's just hard to believe when I'm still caught in the cycle.  HOPE.

too much

Happy Eyes

In the past month or so I've been frustrated by the idea of beauty and physical attraction.  I'm commandeering a blog post from a friend here, but it sort of changed by life today.  So here's her answer:

"Sometimes, when I look at my accomplishments, like a skinned elbow from a mountain trail, I feel pretty pathetic compared to beauty like [the Beauty and Belief] exhibits.  But when I think about it, the most beautiful thing about people, is when they are happy.  And whether that legacy is a bloody elbow or a beautiful stitching, people were happy--and happy eyes are the most beautiful thing. Happy eyes are the reason we make beautiful things- and as long as we are making eyes happy (ours or someone else's), we are making beauty."

Happy eyes ARE the reason we make beautiful things.  And the glorious part of this is that beauty is subjective- gloriously so.  Because of this, everything is beautiful to someone.  Everyone and everything has a place, and the diversity of expression and desire is what makes our world so rich with beautiful difference.