Heal

v. to become whole or sound; mend

Synonyms: ameliorate, conciliate, free, harmonize, make sound, make whole, mend, minister to, reanimate, rebuild, reconcile, regenerate, rejuvinate, renew, renovate, restore, revive, soothe

"In the many trials of life, when we feel abandoned and when sorrow, sin, disappointment, failure, and weakness make us less than we should ever be, there can come the healing salve of the unreserved love in the grace of God.  It is a love that lifts and blesses.  It is a love that sustains a new beginning on a higher level and thereby continues from grace to grace."

James E. Faust, "A Personal Relationship with the Savior"

Ensign, November 1976

Realization

There comes a time in every respectable woman's life where she realizes how desperately she needs something that can pass off as a business suit.

Oh, how I wish that today was not that day...

For now: learning from students

Today I am indebted to my fantastic Psych 111 students.  In grading their papers, several students spurred thoughts and referenced conference talks that have helped give me the perspective that I needed today.  I know it's sappy, but it's a part of what is on my mind.  And this, for now, has helped to put my mind at ease while I focus on the other things that are more pressing at present.

From President Monson's Address in Priesthood Session of April 2011:

Perhaps you are afraid of making the wrong choice. To this I say that you need to exercise faith. Find someone with whom you can be compatible. Realize that you will not be able to anticipate every challenge which may arise, but be assured that almost anything can be worked out if you are resourceful and if you are committed to making your marriage work.

Choose a companion carefully and prayerfully; and when you are married, be fiercely loyal one to another. Priceless advice comes from a small framed plaque I once saw in the home of an uncle and aunt. It read, “Choose your love; love your choice.” 

President Howard W. Hunter said this about marriage: “Being happily and successfully married is generally not so much a matter of marrying the right person as it is being the right person.” I like that. “The conscious effort to do one’s part fully is the greatest element contributing to success.”

Compassion

Sometimes I wish that we could understand people better.  I wish I had the power to look at someone and be able to tell exactly what they are struggling with, where they've been, and what their divine potential is.  In short, I wish I could see others the way that God sees them.  And sometimes, I wish others could see me that way as well.

Our world is seriously lacking in compassion, and I believe that this is partially because we just don't understand.  We tend to attribute others' shortcomings to some way in which they are lacking.  But what if, instead, we saw how much progress they had made?  What if, instead of just seeing where they are right now, we could understand where they had come from, and where they had the potential to go?

There are a few people in my life who are amazing at this.  I so appreciate when people manage to love me so deeply despite my shortcomings.  I love how they go out of their way to pick up my slack, even when they don't completely understand why I'm letting so many things fall through the cracks.  I love people who remind me how far I've come, and how proud they are of the progress I've made.  The people who I really love, the friends and family that I really feel close to, remind me that right now isn't the end.  And in doing so, they inspire me to be better.

I want to do this more for others.  How great would our world be if we all had the perspective God has?  Or, if in recognizing that we don't know everything, we consistently gave others the benefit of the doubt?  I think this is what we are supposed to do.  I think that this is compassion- understanding and doing our best to love others, especially when we don't really understand.

Because really, we can't ever truly understand.

All we can do is love.

Anxiety

Head facing forward,
I'm ready.
Let's do this.

Honesty

I'm really liking the lyrics of this song right now.

Being honest and authentic with emotions is not something I excel at, but I'm trying.

I like the idea that we are so much more than the face we present to others.

I want to live in a world where we can see and appreciate how far others have come.

Honestly can I tell you were I'm at

Honestly can I pull the curtain back

Will you run if you see how weak I am?

If you don't see the real me you won't see what mercy's done

If you don't see my weakness you won't see what love has won

If you don't see the distance from the darkness to the sun

you won't see

Honestly

Honestly I'm growing sick and tired

Honestly it hurts too much to hide

Brokeness that's killing us inside

If you don't see the real me you won't see what mercy's done

If you don't see my weakness you won't see what love has won

If you don't see the distance from the darkness to the sun

You won't see

Honestly

Let the light escape

From these holes inside my soul

When I start to break

Then grace begins to flow

Let the light escape

From this wounded place inside my soul

Honestly

If you don't see the real me 

You won't see what grace has done

If you don't see my weakness 

you won't see what love has won

If you don't see the distance from the darkness to the sun

You won't see

Humility

Our Heavenly Father doesn't want us to come to him so that he can get upset with us, 

but so that he can teach us how to be happy.

Ether 12:27
And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness.  I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.


Elder D. Todd Christopherson As Many as I Love, I Rebuke and Chasten

Paul V. Johnson, of the Seventy More Than Conquerors through Him That Loved Us

Remember- and take Courage

I am struggling.  And struggling is okay, so long as I don't give up.  So long as I remember...

the miracles that got me here.

And I usually need help remembering.  There will always be opposition-equal to the goodness of whatever it is we are trying to do.  Opposition can come in the form of confusion, temptation, or anything that causes us to focus on anything other than what God wants for us.  So these are the words that, today, I want to remember. (From Holland's talk.)

The reminder is that we cannot sign on for a moment of such eternal significance and everlasting consequence without knowing it will be a fight--a good fight and a winning fight, but a fight nevertheless.

Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.. . . If any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him. . . .. . . We are not of them who draw back unto perdition. [Hebrews 10:35–36, 38–39; emphasis added]

 If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. 

Don't give in. Certainly don't give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. He wants everyone to be miserable like unto himself. Face your doubts. Master your fears. "Cast not away therefore your confidence." Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you.

Along with the illuminating revelation that points us toward a righteous purpose or duty, God will also provide the means and power to achieve that purpose. Trust in that eternal truth. If God has told you something is right, if something is indeed true for you, he will provide the way for you to accomplish it. 

Tears may reign at night, but the sun comes every morning. 

Why today is Awesome

1. I finished a paper (with accompanying flow chart) that I am particularly proud of.

2. Having enough time to get all caught up on TA duties, and realizing that I could still totally ace a psych 111 midterm.

3. Talks by Richard G. Scott and Jeffrey R. Holland on Truth and Courage.

4. Awesome people who love me even though I don't do dishes, say the right things, or have any idea how to effectively manage time.

5. The sudden potential reality of leaving the continent for the first time in my life.

Goal: Perspective

This week:

Every time something comes up that I'm particularly worried/stressed/concerned about, ask myself if it will really matter in the eternal perspective of things, and if so, how?

Let's go for a ride

If there's one thing I'm certain of, it's that life goes up and down.  If everything seems awful, just wait a little and things will seem better.  And if everything seems perfect, cherish it because hard things will be required of you pretty darn soon.

The sooner I learn to embrace change, the happier I'll be.

Remember

"God is eagerly waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as he always has.  But he can't if you don't pray, and he can't if you don't dream.  In short, he can't if you don't believe."

-Jeffrey R. Holland

Some days I feel so good that I wish I could bottle it up in one of Link's "empty bottle"s and save it for later to remind myself how wonderful life can be.  Last night was like that.  And I have a feeling today will be like that too.  I'm going to be so productive it's ridiculous, and then play hard.  Sometimes I forget that God wants me to be happy, I just have to let myself have the opportunity.

Also, I realized yesterday that I'm okay with this whole "feeling" thing.  I'm typically not a huge fan of feelings, cuz they hurt and are confusing and stuff.  But I'm coming to understand that feelings go both ways.  They can make you feel GOOD too!  And the more hurt we feel, the more we have a capacity for all of the awesome, good feelings.  So I'm starting to be okay with feeling.  Starting.

Emma Watson, on Modesty

February starts with Learning

Here's what I know today:

I love being productive.  The only way I really feel okay about relaxing is if I've spent more of the day being busy than any normal, sane human being.  And tonight I felt great about it.

It's getting a little weird that by the time I get home from school my roommates are usually asleep...

God is good.  He knows me.  He knows exactly how stressed I am, and He's giving me the tools to get the answers I need.

That said, I've got some serious decisions coming up here.  Four major ones I can count right now, in the following categories:

1. Emotional stability
2. Future relationships
3. Present vocational choices
4. Future educational and career choices

The interesting thing is that I never seem to be confused about spiritual choices.  Rather, those are the choices I just need to keep consistently making that allow me to know what to do in all of the other areas.

I have an epic plan for tomorrow, and if it works I am going to be a very, very happy girl.  And if it doesn't, I'm sure something else will happen that I will get to learn from.  

Finally, I'm learning about being wrong.  I'm learning that mistakes don't necessarily mean you need to feel guilty-sometimes they're just mistakes.  And that being wrong isn't always-or even usually-a bad thing.  Because recognizing that you're wrong means you've realized an area in which to grow, a way you can improve relationships, or a new way of looking at the world.  It means greater understanding.

Yeah, I know it's from the Vampire Diaries. 

 I've never seen the show (and don't want to), but the song resonated with what I'm learning tonight.