Monday, March 5, 2012

Taken for Granted

 "Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted."
Aldous Huxley

When I catch myself criticizing someone I am close to, wishing they would improve in some way or do something differently, I  try to take a step back.  Most often, what I am overlooking is how incredibly much I am taking for granted. 

What this really boils down to is focusing on the positive.  John Gottman, a researcher who studies marital relations, has found one thing that most successful marriages have in common: the couples shares five or more positive interactions for every negative one.  It is easy to assume that the people we are close to know that we value them, but I think the truth is we need to remind them.  We need to remind those around us that they matter far more often than we point out the things we need them to improve on.  This is something I really want to get better at.

I think I'm going to employ my own version of the Golden Rule (and credit Hannah with it's coneption):

If you have something nice to say, SAY IT!

...I love the things I find when I'm grading papers.

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