Immediacy

Often we talk about how long God takes to answers prayers.  We believe that He hears us, and that in His own time He answers.  By this we usually imply that we won't get answers as quickly as we want.  But I believe that, usually, even if He doesn't give us the answer we want right away, He gives us some indicator that He is watching over us almost immediately.  I have a testimony of the immediacy of God's love.  I imagine that He is waiting on the edge of His heavenly seat, waiting for us to ask for the help that we need.  He wants to tell us how we are doing.  He aches to tell us we are loved, and to help guide us back home.  We just need to learn how to ask the right questions.

I get really impatient sometimes.  I assume that when I push through life by making lists and throwing myself into a hundred different directions things will work out.  But I often forget to check in with the man upstairs.  I forget how willing He is to help me figure things out.  He wants me to struggle to find answers, but He doesn't expect me to do it on my own.  So when I finally soften enough to ask Him for help, He doesn't hesitate. 

In 2 Nephi 32:9, we are taught, "But behold, I say unto that ye must pray always, and not faint; that he must not perform anything unto the Lord save in the first place ye shall pray unto the Father in the name of Christ, that he will consecrate thy performance unto thee, that thy performance may be for the welfare of thy soul."  We can be doing the right actions, but unless we are consulting with our Heavenly Father, it won't do a whole lot of good.

Today is a testament of God's immediacy.  After a few weeks of struggling, I finally decided to check back in.  I had a bunch of ideas and lists, and I felt overwhelmed.  So I checked in.  I asked for feedback.  And guess what happened?

Today is the first day in ages I have felt alive.  It's been so long that I forgot what it felt like.  I feel the sun on my skin and I know I am on the right path.  Music sounds more full and potent.  My thoughts are clear.  And I'm starting to really feel in a different way.  Not just pain and heavy things- but light and joy. 

I know I'm a behaviorist...but I love how willing God is to provide reinforcement.  His plan is perfect, and I so appreciate how patient He is with my slow journey to understand.