Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Refocusing

You know what I do sometimes?  I focus on the negative.  I take for granted all of the hundreds and thousands of amazing things about my life and focus on the couple that aren't perfect.  And you know what the irony of the situation is?  I tend to focus on the negative most when my life is the best.  How do I know this, you ask?  Because right now, my life is downright amazing.

Largely due to the events of the past semester, I'm in a place in my life where I really feel like I'm on the right track.  I'm learning more and more how to be on the same page as my Heavenly Father, focusing on what He knows will be best in the long run.  I'm learning to be okay with taking a few steps (or running a few miles) in the dark, because I believe that as long as I'm constantly seeking, course changing direction will come when it's right.

I'm LEARNING so much!  In school, personal religious study, and about relationships and the world at large, I am learning.  And I LOVE to learn.  Every day I learn new things, and often big things.  Last night I had a major realization about the nature of the Godhead and our relationship with each of it's members.  All week I've been getting more information about future plans that will allow me to be best prepared to open a lot of doors, and then make informed decisions that are best for me and my family.  The incredibly wonderful and patient people around me help me learn more about myself and how to best approach relationships.  And I am attending a very good university, working a great job, associating with helpful and compassionate mentors, and being constantly blessed with the funds to get through it all without financial stress.

My apartment is a SAFE place.  Every day I come home to a place where I feel comfortable, safe, and loved.  Even when it's messy, I can always feel the Spirit in my apartment.  It is an environment where talking about spiritual questions, insights, and concerns is encouraged.  Where words of affirmation are constant, and hugs and back rubs happen often.  Where food is shared, laughter is had, and ukulele playing and singing are common occurrences.  It is a place that I want to come home to.

The PEOPLE in my life are amazing.  My roomates are beyond wonderful- silly, sporadic, insightful, inspiring, and always loving.  I finally feel like my family at home is in good hands, and I'm not worried about them like I used to be.  I have great friends in my ward, at home, and across the country having adventures that I get to share in to different degrees- all of whom inspire me to be better.  And, I have an amazing boyfriend who, despite his own stresses about school, graduation, grad school, and real life, always manages to find the time to be the loving and stalwart support that I need.  I'm very glad that God is choosing to bless me with a lot more than I actually deserve.

My HEALTH is largely intact.  Heavily due to the influence of a wonderful roomate, I'm more healthy than I've been in ages.  I'm making efforts to exercise on a regular basis, and feeling stronger every day as a result. (Well, almost every day.  Thank you lactic acid.)  Food is something I'm developing a more healthy relationship with, as I learn how to eat in a way that makes me feel good.

My life will always have challenges, everyone's does.  But if all I focus on is the challenges, I lose sight of the beautiful things that make life worth living.  Like the sunrise run in the snow I took with Celeste yesterday.  And the security I feel every time my boyfriend holds me.  Or the rush of excitement I can hardly contain when I get a new idea or figure something out.

These are the things that matter.  
And for them, I am grateful.

Oh, and this movie comes out this year.
I take that back.
This movie comes out NEXT WEEKEND.
Not that I'm excited or anything.

No comments:

Post a Comment