love, gradually

I've been angry at socialization lately for convincing me that romantic love happens immediately and with intense force.  This idea was largely been responsible for the struggles I've had in the past few months, and I'm nowhere near done fighting to change my mindset.  But today I stumbled across this bit of writing by a husband of a friend that I think exemplifies how love can be a process, a journey, and a choice.

Allow me to digress to make a point. I like sunsets. But when I was little, sunsets had no appeal to me. I didn't see what the fuss was about--they weren't that pretty, not compared to other stuff. But over time, I began to appreciate a truly beautiful sunset when I saw one. I began to see why so many were in awe of the way the colors combined and swirled. They weren't just reds, oranges and yellows; they were scarlets and crimsons, tangerines and peaches, dandylions and marigolds. It wasn't that the sunsets changed, just my perspective. I remember well the day that I spent 45 minutes photographing a sunset on a campout in my socks in the snow while the rest of the scouts ran around throwing snowballs and riding ATV's. Obviously my perspective profoundly changed. But it was a gradual change. 

So it was with Jess. When we met, neither one of us had anything on our mind except for getting done with our lab assignments as quickly as possible so that we could run off and finish whatever else we had going on in our lives. Little by little however, I began to see so much more that just a pretty girl. I started to see a woman with many sides to her--an intellectual, a pianist, a homemaker, an interior designer, a medical doctor, a clown, a dreamer, a realist, a disciple, a mother. So many other hues than what first met my eye. She is now everything I have ever dreamed of in a woman, and she's my wife. I love her more than I thought I ever could, just like the little boy who never thought he could find the beauty of a sunset. I love her with all my heart. I never thought I could love this way. And I'm as I grow older, I will appreciate still more sides of her. Most of all, I love the way that she has given me eyes to see still more sides of my own life, and love in ways I never knew I could. As I reflect on our beginning, I realize that if it is any indicator of things to come, our relationship will certainly continue to color our lives and bring more joy to the both of us than what we possibly could ever have imagined.

I believe that love is possible, but I believe that the strongest, longest lasting love grows slowly.  And it keeps growing, forever.