After youth conference, I wanted to share with those closest to me what I'd learned, realized, and come to understand. But it turns out that I'm not as good as I'd like to be at talking about the things most meaningful to me. And so I'm going to try to write it out. The things I learned this weekend really have changed me. It is amazing to me that I have learned and grown more as a counselor than I ever did attending things like this as a youth.
Co-Counselor of Amazing-ness
In working with my co-counselor, Craig, I feel like I learned a lot about what good communication in marriage is like. (But not in a romantic way!) Throughout the conference, we worked together seamlessly. We met together before each section to set goals, and clarify our purpose and plan. There was never a moment where I felt overwhelmed or abandoned, because I knew we were in it together. I've recently been anxious about having separate roles for women and men in marriage, but this weekend taught me the importance of those roles. They aren't hard and fast rules, but I found so much power in the way we balanced our roles to optimize the degree to which the Spirit could work through us. Craig tended to be the leader in organized settings like devotionals, turning to me for help and support. While at first this was hard and made me feel inadequate in my spiritual knowledge, I soon realized that with our "children" I was stronger in the informal teaching moments. At these times, I would be the one calling on Craig for support. It was a special balance, and one that I truly believe we were able to achieve with the grace of Heavenly Father. Which brings me to what I really learned: When you have two people who are earnestly and honestly doing the best they can to work toward a common goal, Father will help push you the rest of the way.
The Importance of Family
During the last year especially, I've been very anxious about my career plans for the future. This weekend, though the course of personal revelation and multiple devotionals and speakers, I came to realize that the most important role I will play in the future is that of a mother. Just as the most important role my husband will play will be that of a father. So with all of the time and energy I spend freaking out about my career path, I really ought to spend a little more time focusing on the thing in this world that has the most eternal significance: my future family. This is an area that scares me, because I haven't exactly had the best example to follow. But President Hall told us to "be and do better...and I promise you will." I believe that each generation can improve, and that I can have a strong influence on my children for the better. And I intend to.
Chastity Redefined
One of the workshops our family attended was on "Dating, Chastity, and Virtue". On the board behind the speaker, she had written a definition for Chastity that I want to adopt. "Chastity is purity in conduct and intention." When it comes to standards of moral purity, we tend to focus on actions. But when it really comes down to it, I believe even a kiss can be immoral if done with the wrong intent. And some things that are often considered dangerous can be very good, if done in the right place, at the right time, with pure and honest intentions. Even in our thoughts, it is our intentions that matter most. Because ultimately, our intentions drive our actions and the course of our relationships.
The Essential Nature of The Spirit
Jacob 4:13 tells us that The Spirit "speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be." One of the most important things to me in this life is discovering truth. I want to know exactly what is true, what is real, and what isn't. Often I take for granted that I have the gift of the Holy Ghost, a gift that will testify to me of the truthfulness of all things. If I'm living worthy and doing my very best, I don't have to guess. I can know.
Becoming
Our thoughts become our actions, and our actions become who we are. Elder Scott put it this way, "We become who we want to be by consistently being who we want to become." I learned from Julie B. Beck that the question I need to keep asking is, "Am I aligned with the Lord's vision of me and what He needs me to become?" And from a workshop I attended entitled, "Good, Better and Best" I realized that I need to prioritize my life, and decide what things I want to spend my time becoming the best at. And that when it really comes down to it, the seemingly simple actions that we do consistently are the ones that define who we become.
Be Still
Often I get caught up in ideas. I get frustrated at the disconnect between the ideas I think and the way I live my life. But sometimes, I need to be content that I am trying my best to navigate my way through life. Sometimes, the best counsel is, "Be still, and know that I am God." Ultimately, I need to have faith that Father will help me figure things out when I've tried my hardest. And as was pointed out to me in church today, I need more quiet, calm times in my life to allow the Spirit to speak to me.
Music
Saturday morning the Stake President of the Yuba City Stake spoke to the youth. He said, "we sing about who we are, and we are who we sing about." President Hall talked about how powerful words are, and how much more powerful they are when they are set to music. I have noticed this in my life, and really want to make sure that I am taking full advantage of the power music has to help to me become the person I want to be.
I love my life. I love the opportunities I have to learn, grow, struggle, and be blessed. I am grateful for the opportunities I have to learn how to love, share, and connect with others. And I find it incredible that I am given the time and help to become a thriving daughter of God.
Sometimes, Life is just what it needs to be.
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