Feedback confessional

One of the things that is really important to me is feedback- and I'd argue that it's important to all of us.  Whether it's feedback from things, ourselves, deity, or those around us, it's important.  In fact, in some aspects of the military, they break soldiers by just not giving them ANY feedback for a number of weeks.  No feedback ends up breaking people faster than even only negative feedback.

While negative feedback is important too, I strongly believe that reinforcement is much more effective than punishment.  And because giving negative feedback isn't usually what we struggle with, lately I've been working on the positive.  Silly things, it seems.  Calling a department store manager to let them know about a particularly helpful employee.  Filling out an online survey to point out someone who was doing a good job under pressure.  Letting those around me know I appreciate all the little things they do every day.  

It might seems silly- people tell me all the time that we shouldn't recognize people for normal things.  But I disagree.  If people are doing something good, even if it's normal for them, shouldn't it be recognized?  That's like saying we're only going to award good grades for students who were previously getting bad grades.  Improvement IS good, but it's not the only thing that deserves to be appreciated.  Those who have been working hard the whole time deserve recognition too.  

Yesterday, I was in Jamba Juice running an errand for my roommate.  It was CRAZY busy.  There was one girl who you could tell was new, and she was trying hard, but the pressure was getting to her.  She had a few minor slip-ups, and her boss was pretty condescending.  But she was working HARD and, despite the busyness, she delivered my order with a genuine smile.  And I really appreciated it.    

I strongly believe in feedback.  And I also believe in aiming to make our ratio of positive to negative feedback 5:1- in all aspects of life.  I don't want to be the person who only reports complaints.  I will report them when I have them, but until I do I'll focus on all of the good experiences.  I'm not saying we should make stuff up- I'm saying I want to notice the good more.  It's not that it's not there- I think I just take it for granted.  And happiness doesn't come from things getting better- it comes from realizing how great things really are.

Post Script: I know that a lot of people will disagree with me on this.  The more I think about it, though, the more the I realize that I want this to be one of the overriding philosophies of my life.  I want to show people that I appreciate them for all of the good things, and then deal with the bad when they come up- with kindness and a greater outpouring of love. [see Doctrine and Covenants 121: 41-45]