Writer

I write because I can.  Because I need to.  Because, in the depths of my soul, there is a desire yearning for an outlet that I can't seem to share with any living breathing human being.  Because when people fail me, words never do.  I write because writing is my muse, my strength, my ability to breathe.  I write abstract nonsense, I give too much concrete detail.  When the anger, sadness, joy, or hope become more than my body can contain, I write.  And when I feel a void, I write something to fill it.  What I write doesn't always make sense, but I always write.  Because words are powerful.  Because when life doesn't make sense, I can create a world that does.

at peace...and Restless

Tonight, driving home, I found myself listening to the acoustic Christian station.  I'm admittedly falling in love with it.  Between songs the DJ talked about how great it was that, as a Christian, he was able to feel simultaneously at peace, yet restless to be what Christ wants and needs him to be.  It was a beautiful moment for me, to feel so much truth in the faith of someone so far away, so out of my typical spiritual comfort zone, yet so in sync with how I truly feel.  Recently I've been great, bad, and okay...but all with an overarching sense of perspective that makes everything so good.  My life has never felt so complete so consistently.  I've never felt so on track to becoming who I need to be, while so excited to take the next steps forward.
 

...on a side note, Spanish is sexy.  They don't call them the romance languages for nothing!

on the drive back...

Me (with a tummy-ache on windy roads): "I wonder if this is what it what if's going to feel like on the drive to the hospital when I'm about to go into labor."

Dad: "No, this is probably what it will feel like when you get morning sickness in your first trimester."

Awesome.  So glad I have that to look forward to.

On a more serene note, prior to getting sick, camping this weekend was wonderful.  It was the perfect dose of mountain climbing, canoeing, creek walking, and perfect wilderness.  And perhaps my favorite lake sunset to date.

You know you're in Boulder when...

...you eat cake and frosting out of Tupperware.

...you do Henna.

...the sky can look like this in the afternoon,

and this.

...you are surrounded by astounding mountains.

...serenity is only a hike away.

...hot dog stands are your reprieve from vegetarian food.

...the fountain lets us know they use recycled water.

...street performers play Darth Vader's theme.

...someone hauls a piano to Pearl St.

...a crazy Jamaican man can contort himself.

...you can spend hours watching the  sage old balloon man who creates light sabers for small children.

...you have a moment to entirely love this child.

...the mountains are right next door.

...spontaneous rainstorms are never far away.

...the sky can look like this,

this...

this...

...and this, all at the same time.

...there are Jewish, Christian, Athiest, Mormon by association friends who dress up as  Laura Ingalls.

...the sky is on fire.

...the clouds are marshmallows.

...you can write your inspiration on the walls of a coffee shop.

...even crossing the street is going green.

...yup.

...walking around this rolled-up bell bottoms doesn't attract funny looks.

...the world's most hilarious newspaper is on every corner.

...you don't think twice about eating at "half-fast subs".

...the view is amazing.

...you climb mountains.

...some people climb to the VERY top.

...you take a wheelbarrow to Goodwill.

...and try to push it back, with a refugee inside.

Mostly just pictures from my trip to Boulder.

It was an amazing trip, and exactly what I needed.

I learned the importance of finding the good and beautiful in every situation,

and remembered how much I'm looking forward to going back to Provo.

Phase 1: Preparation

Environment

In the 1980's, two social scientists came up with the Broken Windows theory.  The idea was simple:

Consider a building with a few broken windows.  If the windows are not repaired, the tendency is for vandals to break a few more windows.  Eventually, they may even break into the building, and if it's unoccupied, perhaps become squatters or light fires inside.  

Throughout the past few decades, the theory has been put into practice; government officials focus on cleaning up visible crime, and rates of more heinous crimes dramatically decrease.

What this theory shows is that our environment effects us.  Over and over again, *studies have shown the dramatic impact that the things we see, hear, and experience have on us.  Yet, we always seem to think we're the exception to the rule.  We feel that advertisements don't affect us.  The mess in our room doesn't bother us.  The music we listen to doesn't change our behavior.  But here's the thing:

IT DOES.

There's really no disputing it.  Who we are and how we act is, in large part, determined by the world that surrounds us.  This doesn't mean we don't have any control, however.  In fact, I think it means we have more power than we realize.  There is so much in our environment that is under our control: what we watch and listen to, how we decorate our room and home, what we read...the list goes on and on.  

Imagine how much our lives could change if we just changed out one negative or neutral thing in our environment for one positive one.  

One motivational song on your playlist for one sad one.  

One inspirational quote instead of an angry youtube comment.

One can of your favorite color paint on a blank wall.

Who do you want to be?

How will you mold your environment to help you get there?

The possibilities are only as limited as you are.

*Potentially my biggest pet peeve is when people say this without quoting any specific studies, essentially spreading information they don't know the validity of.  I promise I know what I'm talking about here.  You don't have to take my word for it, though.  Just read this, this, or this.

Vulnerable

Pros?  Cons?

I think I've reached a point in my well-articulated life that the only way to progress is to be more vulnerable.  It's scary as heck, but something I feel a need to explore.  We'll see how it goes.

Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable...